Thursday, December 18, 2008

Ran Dumb - Family Edition

Alright, some more stuff... that no one cares about ;)

1. My Dad is color blind. He's kinda macho, but a great guy. He has a shirt that someone bought him from Cabela's... it's hot pink. Now, I think it's supposed to be a desert scene or something. I asked him one time if he knew what color his shirt was... he thinks it's green. I'm guessing he would not like knowing his shirt's pink, nor would he like the fact that his reading glasses (really just a magnifying pair for reading) that he shares with my stepmom are... you guessed it. Pink!

2. A few days ago, we had a typical night at home. I was reading on the couch and Monkey was reading on the floor next to the couch. Nothing unusual in that. Every few seconds I would hear him turning the page. I got up to get a glass of water and when I walked back into the living room, I saw Monkey hunched over his book. "Hey Monkey. Whatcha reading?" No answer. Time for Mom to investigate. So, yeah, turns out he was flipping through a Playboy! And I bet he was looking at it for the articles, too...

3. This year, same as years past, we are having our families over to our humble abode for breakfast. This way, we don't have to go anywhere. It may sound selfish, but with both our parents divorced, it's a huge hassle to try and get around to everyone... and to be fair. Besides, my Mom always freaks out, and this way, she can't complain. (She does anyway.)

4. Monkey had his Christmas program Tuesday. Excuse me, his Holiday program. Overall, very cute. They put him in the back row... those in charge have learned a lot since his front row debut last year ;) I attended Catholic schools through high school. Petit Singe is in a public school. It irked me slightly that I didn't hear any Christmas songs. Only Santa songs... *sigh. I think it's bullshit.

5. My middle brother (we'll call him Chad) is thirty. He has a really cool chick that he's been hanging out with for quite a few months. When my oldest brother was in town for Thanksgiving, we all went to the bar. (Of course, what else?) And we were all a little drunk. I seized the opportunity to ask (read: grill) Chad about his girl. The typical 'when you gonna get married and have babies' questions. I was pleasantly surprised when he said she's ready, he's not, but when he is ready she's the one... And about damn time too!!

6. It's looking like I will be laid off from my job after the first of the year. Fun.

7. Petit Singe has been telling me that he wants a little brother. So, I've been scouring the classifieds for a puppy.

8. There is supposed to be a major storm coming through here tonight. Time to fire up the snowmobile.

9. My oldest brother leaves for Iraq again on December 28th. Means he will be here this Christmas, but not next Christmas :(

10. Owen is at his company holiday dinner tonight. And I think it's rubbish that it's only for employees, and no spouses. Dang it!! I want surf 'n turf too. Not to mention the fact that I had to cancel a date...

Happy Holidays All!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

TMI Tuesday #165

1. What is the greatest age difference between you and a SO? Older or younger?
Owen is the only SO that I've really ever had. Previous guys were just silly high school hook-ups. The age difference between Owen and I is nine months, and I'm younger.

2. What is the greatest age difference between you and any sexual partner? Older or younger?
The greatest age difference between a sexual partner and myself is twelve years. Uhhh, I was younger.

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?
I have only very recently begun my shopping. It is far from done. I just don't seem to be much in the spirit this year...

4. What are the chances there will be a "naughty" present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?
Chances are highly likely that there will be naughty presents for me and from me, but they will not be under the tree ;)

5. What is your favorite holiday song?
My favorite holiday song is Feliz Navidad. Not quite sure why. I'm not Spanish.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you have a preferred time of day to have sex? If so, why?
I don't have a preferred time to have sex. I take it when I get it. That said, I love lazy morning sex.

Happy (Commando) Tuesday!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

TMI Tuesday #164

1. Do you consider sexy underthings a present for you or your partner?

2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"? Have your best relationship(s) been with your type or when you have gone against it?
I don't have a "type." Seems too narrow-minded to me. I like all kinds of men, and I dig the differences from one to the next. There is much to be said for the staid and responsible accountant, covered in tattoos, playing drums in the clubs on the weekend ;) What's his type?

My past relationships have been all over the place, and I believe my future relationships will be too...

3. What is on your Santa list this year?
Hmm, I want a guitar. My Dad's friend said he'll teach me to play... and I guess we have a guitar in our attic that just needs new strings... so says Owen. I wouldn't mind some new earrings, maybe. I'm easy to please. I don't want much. I have everything I need...

4. Generally speaking, who has historically had a higher libido, you or your partner(s)?

I'm gonna have to say that I generally have had a higher libido. Sometimes I just can't get enough. However, I am far from unsatisfied.

5. The unsculptured female bush seems to have passed from fashion. What about men, do you think they need to trim and shave "down there"?
I don't care either way, really. Trimmed is nice, though ;)

Bonus (as in optional): What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual and non-sexual)?
Umm, obviously raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Having nothing more on my mind than finishing a good book. Or four. Spending time with Owen and Petit Singe. Spending time alone.

Sexually? Ah, well, there isn't much off limits...

Friday, December 5, 2008

Fantasy Friday - Rendezvous

well, I think this bed would just be

... to be tied up in.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

HNT - Ass

Haven't had a chance to get any new pictures taken, Owen snapped this shot a couple weeks ago.

Looking forward to the Christmas theme... if we can get it together and get it done...

We really need to start planning better...

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!

Don't forget to check out the others at Osbasso's.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

TMI Tuesday #163

Here is my first attempt at TMI Tuesday...

1. What are your turn-ons?
- a sense of humor
- a nice smile
- creativity
- an active imagination
- spontaneous sex
- porn
- erotica
- pushing my boundaries
- *** *****
- accents

2. What are your turn-offs?
- bad kissers
- foul breath
- hypocrisy
- pressure
- bad grammar
- rudeness
- insincerity

3. Not counting your turn-ons, what's the best trait a person can have?
- tolerance

4. Not counting your turn-offs, what's the worst trait a person can have?
- cruelty

5. What's your biggest pet peeve?
- people not taking responsibility for their actions

Friday, November 28, 2008

Fantasy Friday

Here is


of my many fantasies.

Meme posted below!

Another Meme

There is No Need to tag anyone, just copy and paste. Be sure to credit where you found this. I found it over at NV's.

1. My stomach is ____________.
My stomach is between my esophagus and my duodenum.

2. _________ is what I ate the most of on Thursday.
Stuffing is what I ate the most of on Thursday.

3. The yard is _________.
The yard is still green, with too many leaves.

4. ________ is where I'd rather be at any given time.
Home is where I'd rather be at any given time.

5. The smell of _______ reminds me of __________.
The smell of Victoria's Secret Angel perfume reminds me of a stripper experience I had a few weeks ago.

6. _______ is what I need right now!
Sex is what I need right now! Always sex.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _______, tomorrow my plans include _________ and Sunday, I want to ________!
And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to eat with my Mom and brothers, tomorrow my plans include spending more time with family, and Sunday, I want to relax! Though that's not likely.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

HNT - Good Clean Fun

Alright. Wednesday night. Pictures are taken. Time to post.

I managed to get a photo of Owen's Magic Hands.

And, this is just me.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!

You know the drill. Make sure you check out the others at Osbasso's.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I Was Tagged Too

This is Owen.
The very sexy Ms. Lily has tagged me for a meme.

Here are the rules.

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on his/her website


1. I have, in my possession, a referral for a vasectomy consultation.

2. I’m a volunteer fireman and am working toward my goal of getting on a full time department.

3. Christa sends dirty pictures of herself to my phone all the time. I show almost every one of them to a couple of guys at work.

4. First-hand knowledge has taught me that, although it may seem easy, maneuvering on a stripper pole is harder than it looks. (I still want to put one up at home for Christa though.)

5. Don't be deceived by my baby face, I have tons of gray hair and am going bald. Thus, the need for my ever-present ball cap.

6. I want my wife to have sex with another man.

I don't read enough blogs to tag anyone.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

HNT - His Request

Greetings!! This is another picture taken from my phone and sent to Owen at work. He requested that I post this. It's one of his favorites.

Come home soon.
(Bring some friends.)

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!

Don't forget to check out the others at Osbasso's.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

HNT - Owen & Christa

It's still Thursday, right?

His hands now, my hands later.

A handful?

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Make sure you check out the others at Osbasso's.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008


Nolens Volens has tagged me for a meme. Here are the rules...

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on his/her website


Six random things about me shouldn't be too hard, it's finding six other bloggers to tag that might do me in. Here goes...

1. I've been called a slut, a bitch, a fool, a good mom, a bad mom, smart, selfish, sexy, funny, wild, lazy, and other assorted names. I agree with them all.

2. With most housework, I'm pretty laid back. But the towels have to be washed a certain way, folded a certain way, and put in the closet a certain way.

3. Petit Singe was born a month early. I think it was my fault. I ate a (whole) pan of brownies (minus two) the night before an OB/GYN visit. They took my blood pressure, sent me to the hospital, and induced me. (Ooops.)

4. I hate spiders. If I see one in the house, I get bright red spots on my face. Ah, hell, it happens if I see one outside the house, too.

5. I procrastinate. My ten year class reunion is coming up in a couple weeks. I need to RSVP by November 14. I'll probably procrastinate until its too late, then I don't have to decide if I'm going or not...

6. Beer is my alcoholic beverage of choice.

Okay, I'm not tagging six, but I'll do three. Sorry, guys (and girl)!


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Hey!! More Random

1. Owen and I, along with a group of friends, went out Saturday night and celebrated the time change with an extra hour at the bar. We had a blast. And we all took a turn on the stripper pole. Owen landed on his back and bruised his package. (?!?)

2. I was late for work today. I had to vote. Make sure you do, too.

3. It seems that a friend is not talking to me, for some reason or another. I'm debating whether or not to send an email. I probably will not. (I am many things, proud being one.) If this person wants to talk again, they know where to find me. But it bothers me something fierce.

4. Be careful what you wish for. A while back, I posted about the communication in my marriage. Said we hardly talked, therefore rarely fought . Well... we've been bickering and snipping almost constantly. Last night was awful. Awful.

5. But we're good now. Neither of us hold a grudge. Usually by the next morning, we forget what we were arguing about. However, it will be a long time before I forget last night...

6. I've picked a location, but I've yet to pick the tattoo.

7. Monkey has another doctor appointment tonight. I can't believe it has already been a month.

8. I thought about posting an update to my (almost non-existent) 100 days, but then I remembered all the Halloween candy I ate over the weekend. And last night. ~sigh~ And probably today.

9. While cleaning over the weekend, I was making sure our DVDs were all back where they belong. Opening our five disc changer, I discovered four pornos waiting to be put away, and a Scooby-Doo movie. (?!?)

10. You all know my Mom is a little nuts, right? Well, her latest story about her ex-fiance is that he has sent a motorcycle gang after her. I'm not kidding. She told me about it Sunday. That's the day the menacing bikers stared at her house while going realllly slow down the road. ~sigh~

Never a dull frickin' moment!!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

HNT - Happy Halloween

Here is our second venture into HNT. Owen enjoyed playing photographer.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!
Don't forget to check out the others at Osbasso's.

Have a safe Halloween!

I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Think I...

Ha. My last update on my 100 days was a few weeks ago. Aside from walking at the park a few times, three weeks ago is pretty close to the last I was habitually exercising. And that's up for debate.

So here I am, about to renew my vow for the tenth or so time, and I just am not sure what to promise.

I know if I don't continue, I will be very disappointed in myself. I know that I don't want to spend next summer in jeans, due to the fact that I don't like my legs. I know I want to be healthier for my family. I know I'm not going to change myself overnight. I know I need to set goals and stick with them.

It's just so hard. I don't want to sweat. I don't want to be sore. I just want to sit and read... maybe a diet book.

Now I've wasted all this time. Clocks change on Sunday, so it will be nice and dark by the time I get home. Not only dark, but cold and windy. Owen is working crazy hours. (Seriously, crazy hours.) I don't have time to drive to the gym and actually put to use the membership I've had since 2003.

Reading this again, I see I'm still good on the excuses. Sure, it's not going to be convenient, but I still need to get some things done. 100 days of straight exercise may have been a bit too ambitious for my lazy ass. Should have started slow.

Here is my new vow... ... ... ... ... Hmm, let me think about this... ... ... ... I thought it would just come to me. Shoot. Okay, nothing specific, I'm just going to try harder.

With that, I'll leave a nice motivational quote: The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
Yeah, ya got me. I don't know what that means, but it's an English proverb and was listed under effort quotes.

Ah! Here's one I can relate to: Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer. -Author Unknown
(Hmm, actually I can't relate. I always give up when things get difficult.)

Anyway. Have a nice day!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Lost And Not Yet Found

We went to a Detroit Lions game today. It was my first professional football game. (We lost.) A friend of mine drove up to our house and we rode together further north to my brother's place. It was chilly and windy while we were tailgating. The guys were playing some bean bag game and wanted me to take a turn. I didn't. Again, it was something I had never done before. I suppose I didn't want to look stupid, or whatever. I don't know. I should have taken my turn. Why didn't I?

Moving on...

It's a good thing we tailgated (Beers and brats!), because in the stadium, beers were $8.50 for a (small) plastic cup. Outrageous! I mean, of course Owen and I both had one, and I had to get some popcorn, but what the heck... Our charge for the two beers and popcorn was $22.50. ~sigh~

Like I mentioned, the game was a bust. The Redskins kicked our asses, like we knew they would. But I was glad for the opportunity to catch up with our friend Jim and to meet my brother's new girlfriend. (Although, after the beers we had and the bullshit stories we were all telling her, I hope she still sticks around.) It's far too infrequently that we're all able to get together and reminisce. (I lost my first tooth at Jim's house. We go waaaay back.)

I forgot about the point of this post. Here it is...

While Owen and I have talked about some things that may or may not happen in the future, I've realized that I'm missing something. Sure, we get along great and have awesome sex. If you've been reading this blog, you would surely know that. While I am definitely looking forward to the next phase in our lives, I still scratch that. I still need romance.. Holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes (okay, probably not that, that's too corny even for me), but you get the idea.

Anyway, when the game was over, we sat and watched the crowd filing out. Finally, almost all the people were gone, but there was another couple walking up the steps to leave that caught my eye. They stopped in the middle of the stairs and kissed. Not just a simple peck on the lips. He grabbed her and turned her around. He had his arm around her back and was leaning into her while she playfully tried to get away at first. Eventually, though, she gave in and was bent back over his arm while they clung together and kissed. It was sweet, and at the same time, almost erotic. I couldn't take my eyes off them.

That's what I want.

Once upon a time, I had it.

But it was lost somewhere along the way to happily ever after.

I'm still looking for it...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

HNT - With A Little Help From My Friends

I mentioned a couple days ago that I now have a camera phone. Still no internet at home, but, whatever. The pictures are from my phone, let me know what you think...

I sent this to Owen at work to give him an idea of what was waiting at home.

And this is what he got when he walked in the door. Tossed the camera, kept the mirror.

If you haven't already, don't forget to stop by Osbasso's to see what's goin' on!

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

More Random

See title.

1. My height is about 5'6". When I calculate my BMI, I say I'm 5'7". Makes me feel better.

2. I finally succeeded in my quest to get a Playboy for Owen. It was easier than I thought. And it was from Barnes & Noble. And, yes, there were people watching me.

3. Over the past few weeks, I have abundantly expanded my sexual knowledge, though it is still very limited.

4. I am starting to work on my New Year's resolutions. My goal is five. Five that I have some small chance of fulfilling. Said restriction rapidly cut down on the thirty or so things I would like to do.

5. My conversations with Owen have improved. It could be that I'm just more aware of trying to communicate and talk.

6. Due to some outside influences, my sex life has been greatly enriched. And it was never all that shabby. You do the math.

7. I have finally bitten the bullet. I am the proud new owner of a camera phone. Simple for you, complicated for me...

8. I've started my reward system for exercise. I'm cheating though. Rain or shine, exercise or no exercise, I'm at the bookstore. Only thing is, I can't make it past the Letters To Penthouse series.

9. Owen's friend on the fire department, who fixed our well, has finally sent a bill. The damage: $470.00 That's only for the part, he didn't charge for labor. Good deal. (Not really.) So, Owen, you just keep on being friendly with the guys at your station. In fact, why don't you bring a few home with you tonight...

10. This is Owen's last week of school. He has a final practical test on Saturday. However, it's the busy season at his work, so I will see him even less.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Some Number Under 100 Days To Go

Here's another update on my 100 days.

I promised myself that last night I was going to do Jillian's video. Nope. Didn't happen. Instead, my Mom called and wanted to go for a walk. Owen was at school and I was home with Monkey.

I gave her every excuse I could think of. It's going to get dark soon. Petit Singe won't walk that far. He has homework. He needs a bath. I'm tired. I don't feel like it. I just didn't want to argue with her or listen to her outrageous stories.

Finally I said fuck it. I was feeling kinda bitchy and if she wanted to give me shit, I was gonna give it right back. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her. (You may have noticed my bitchy post about Owen a couple days ago, which, incidentally, I feel bad about writing now...)

So, we started our walk. We passed the spot where I usually turn around. We're halfway down the street behind my house (my 'around the block' is roughly four miles), and Monkey's too tired to go on. Dammit! I knew it. This is the reason I walk alone. And guess who got a piggyback ride...for two freakin' miles...? Not me.

Needless to say, when I got home, I said fuck it again. No Jillian. I got my exercise in, plus carried an extra 45 pounds of wiggly monkey.


Now I have noticed that maybe (wishful thinking?) my shirts are a little looser. I'm eating slightly better. No donuts for me this week. (Not after I ate so many from the orchard over the weekend...)

And I don't know how many days are left out of my 100 days. I do know it hasn't worked exactly as I had planned.

I really need to stop with the damned excuses too. Even if they are true.

Okay, okay.

Motivational quote for the day: If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. -Jim Eason

Shoot, sorry, not that. How about this... The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. -Mark Twain

No? Okay. Last try. Living a healthy lifestyle will only deprive you of poor health, lethargy, and fat. -Jill Johnson

Works for me.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Yap Yap Yap

I'm looking for some good conversation starters. Nothing cheesy. Nothing vague.

I already know about his job. I already know about any children he has. I already know some of his fantasies. I know what he likes in a woman. I know whether he wears boxers or briefs. I know his family problems. I know his insecurities. I know his dreams.

Is that all I need to know? Is that all I get? Is that enough?

Why is it that when we go out to dinner, we have nothing to talk about? Absolutely nothing. We kind of stare at each other awkwardly. Inevitably, one of us will bring up Monkey, and that's where the conversation stays. It's awful.

If we're at a bar with friends or family, we hardly talk all night. Oh, we'll both be teasing and flirting and conversing, but not together.

On the nights Owen is home in time for dinner, the conversation is centered around Monkey and his day at school. We'll talk about our respective days at work. I'll complain about my Mom and he'll relate the phone call he had with his.

We don't discuss anything meaningful, really. We don't have much to say to each other. I'm not even really sure what we should be talking about. World affairs? Current events? Politics? Movies? What a laugh.

I can talk to someone for hours. The same with him. How could we simply run out of things to say? Is there nothing left to learn about him? Nothing he would like to know about me? Will it always be like this? We don't even fight. We have nothing to argue about.

We used to play volleyball every week. We used to play softball every Sunday.

Now...we do nothing. He watches TV. I read. He goes to school. I walk. He plays in the garage. I clean. He works late. I cook. Sure. I like to read. I like to walk. I like to cook. I like to, well, I don't like to clean. Whatever. That's not the point. I don't know what is the point.

I feel like I'm complaining. Perhaps. Mostly I just want to vent and see if there are any ideas to get us going again. Can anyone help?

(Just because I have good sex, doesn't make everything good.)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Email to Owen

(Sent Friday, October 3, 2008 3:31pm)

Hello Owen.

Normally I wouldn't be sending you an email, but, um, it's a long story...

You remember how I wore the red and pink see through bra and matching boy shorts this morning, don't you? Yes, yes, I thought you might. Then you also recall why I'm wearing the set and a skirt and the heels, right? Yes, for him.

You see, he's the reason I jumped you last night as soon as you walked in the door. He's the one who got me so crazy that I had to have you when you came in.

He's the reason it was so good...

So, today he gave me a couple instructions for the day, and now he wants me to tell you about it. Are you ready for this?

The first task, of course, was my clothing. It's been a long time since I wore anything sexy, even for you. He convinced me to wear this skirt (I don't know how) and this sexy bra and underwear. It feels good to feel sexy and know that possibly others think I am too.

So, when I got to work, we chatted for a bit and eventually he wanted me to go into the bathroom and play with myself for a few minutes. I felt a little silly, but I did it. And I liked it. He had me do that twice. When lunchtime rolled around, he sent me to the mall.

At his instruction, I took off my bra and underwear in the restroom and touched myself some more. Then I walked around the mall for a few minutes. I could feel myself getting wetter, even wetter than I was when I used my fingers and hands on myself...

I knew guys were looking at me. Try to imagine what they were thinking. What would you be thinking Owen? Would you see my hard nipples and want to flick your tongue over them? Would you try to sneak a peek while my legs were slightly spread, as I took a rest in the food area, where men in business suits mixed with men in jeans and casual shirts were eating lunch? Would you be wondering if that woman sitting by herself was waiting for someone, or possibly waiting for you? You could tell just by looking at her, she was dripping wet and you could almost taste her. Think she'd let you? I bet she wanted the group of guys sitting to her right to drag her out of the mall. She'd probably do anything you asked...anything.

Here's what I was really thinking...I was ready to have someone bend me over and pull on my long brown hair. I wanted someone to show me exactly how sexy they thought I was. I wanted another task...

Now here I am writing this email because he told me to. All I can say is that I hope you're ready for some more hard fuckin tonight.


My Friday

**I was going to send this in an email to someone and decided to just post it instead.**

Just a little bit about my Friday night...

After being on edge all day, following some dictates, I finally had relief. It went like this...

I picked up my son from school and, surprisingly, Owen came home shortly after. Just normal things going on - dinner, dishes, talking, me being horny. I told him a little about my day, my time at the mall, that he had an email waiting for him. So, since he was home and it was still light out, I decided to take a walk. When I came back, I told him I was going to Barnes & Noble and that I'd be back in a bit. He told me to grab him a Playboy.

I wandered around the store. There were a couple books I wanted to check on. But the aisle I kept coming back to had love and sexuality books. I thumbed through the Kama Sutra books and some other graphic novels and how-tos. I knew Owen probably wouldn't do half the stuff in any of the books, so I wandered aimlessly again.

I took a walk back to the magazines and found the Playboy he was looking for. The only problem was that it's so open of an area, it seemed like everyone was watching me. I grabbed him a Maxim magazine instead. Then, of course, I went back to my section of the day. Although my sex life is pretty good, I think it can be better. Plus, I wanted to look at all the pictures. At this point, I was beyond horny. After looking more, and deciding again that Owen wouldn't be interested in any of the books I looked at, from the bottom shelf I grabbed 'Letters to Penthouse'.

I got home and Monkey was already sleeping. I spent more time than I thought at the bookstore. Owen was a little disappointed that he only got a Maxim, but there were too many people. I could've walked into any Adult Bookstore and picked up a magazine, but not from Barnes & Noble. Sorry.

So I sat on the couch reading my new book while Owen was watching TV. He kept looking at me, so I asked him if he wanted to do it, but he just made a face. Yeah, I know. I was dying. Maybe I was too direct or too hot for him. Who cares? I knew that at the end of the night, if he didn't help me with my release, then I didn't need him anyway.

WARNING: Dirty words coming up.

I walked into the kitchen and filled a glass with water from the tap. I heard Owen follow me into the kitchen. I turned around and bumped into him, kind of brushed past him and opened the freezer to get some ice. As I was standing there getting ice, he came up behind me again. This time was slightly different.

I could feel the hardness of him pressed against my back. I set the glass down on the counter and leaned back into him. He put his arms around me, moved my hair, and started kissing my neck. I angled my head so he could get all my hot spots. I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass. He rarely kisses my neck or back, which I love. Usually we just have sex and that's it. Nothing romantic about it. At least it fills one need...

Back to the story. He continued kissing my neck and reached around and put his fingers down my pants. They found my slippery clit and started massaging. His other hand crept under my shirt and played with my hard nipple.

After a few minutes of me wiggling around and trying to keep quiet, he turned me around and kissed me on the lips. He reached behind him and closed the kitchen blinds. Again, he turned me around, this time facing the counter as he stood behind me. He pulled my pants and underwear down. He touched me to make sure I was good and wet. No problem there. He slid into me in one sure stroke.

I came almost immediately. I had been waiting for this all day. All day. A few minutes of this and I pushed him back, and out of me. I turned around and dropped to my knees. I sucked on his cock and cleaned off my juices. I kissed my way up his chest and finally let him taste me on my lips. Owen quickly spun me around and shoved himself back up inside me. He grabbed my hips and plowed hard into me until we both came.

That's what I was waiting for all day...

Next time, maybe he'll pull my hair.

In case anyone's curious, I'm reading this again before I publish it, and I'm blushing because I wrote 'cock.'

Friday, October 3, 2008


Just a couple random thoughts and facts to share today.

1. Today is my former best friend's birthday. I posted about Heather back in August on her anniversary. Happy Birthday Heather.

2. I understood that it was only a matter of time, but I was still unprepared for my Mom's venomous accusations yesterday. Seems I'm having an affair with her erstwhile fiance. (Among others.)

3. I'm varying from the previously coordinated wardrobe today. It's a red and pink bra with matching boy shorts.

4. The teacher of Petit Singe believes he has ADHD. I spoke with her at length yesterday when I went to pick up Monkey. *Sigh*

5. I had awesome sex last night. Owen would like to extend a thank you to the warmer-upper...

6. I've been neglecting my work most of the week, now I need to get a bunch of stuff done, like now.

7. I'm hoping to take Monkey to the park tomorrow, while the temperature is above freezing.

8. I had to turn my damned furnace on two nights ago, the same day I was talking smack at work to all those who already turned theirs on.

9. I did not do Jillian's workout video last night, but I did get some exercise in. ;)

10. The U.P.S. guy who delivers to work is hot. Older. Hot.

Have a good weekend!

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Well, as much as I was hoping, no, praying this would not happen, it did. It's not much of a surprise though. Feels disloyal to say that, but I'm only being honest here.

My Mom is not engaged anymore. Really, it was almost inevitable. She's unbalanced, but watch out if you try to suggest that to her. No one wants to be called crazy, or have it implied there may be a chemical imbalance in their brain. She'd give you her last dollar. She loves her kids and grandson without question. She's giving. And loving (as much as she can be).

You just have to walk on eggshells around her. All the time. You never know how an innocent comment is going to strike her. You never know when she'll turn on you for some imagined reason. Seriously, an imagined reason. Yeah. Fun.

I'm not the favored child of either of my parents. That doesn't bother me. I've lived with it for almost 29 years. I'm used to it by now. That being said, I'm a little more free expressing my opinion about her actions. (No need to worry about falling out of favor, is there? Not when you were never in favor.) She exaggerates. She gets something in her head and believes it. She doesn't trust anyone. She thinks everyone is a liar. She thinks everyone is a thief. She thinks everyone is a cheat. I'm not exempt from her accusations. I've been charged with all, several times, in fact.

Despite her faults, I want her to be happy. She seemed happy with this guy. She was happy with this guy. God, these past couple weeks she was so pleasant to be around. I wanted that to last. But it was only a matter of time until the accusations were flung. Honestly, she needs medication. But she doesn't think so. All the accusations are true in her mind. No matter what proof you offer to the contrary. What she says is fact.

That's why I'm not surprised its ended. All she needed to do was show the other side of herself. She just opened up her mouth and spewed filth. And that's all he needed to see.

I feel guilt from both ways. Disloyalty to my Mom for even writing this stuff, and I feel bad about her fiance because I knew. I knew.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Donut or Doughnut?

I'm gonna eat a donut.

One of our suppliers dropped some materials off this morning, along with a box of donuts. I went and peeked at them when I got a cup of coffee. Now, I'm just trying to figure out which one I'm going to devour. I like them all.

I just have to tell myself, "Self, it's not like you've never had one or don't know what they taste like. It's not like you will never have another donut."

Usually this works to keep me from eating any, but I missed breakfast and I'm feeling weak-willed this morning. I'll just use that old standby to keep me eating only one.

So, 80 days left, or something like that. I need to step it up. I've missed too many days to be happy with myself. Though Owen helped me get through more of Jillian's workout than I had previously gotten, I still feel like a failure. It's only 100 days. Why can't I just do it?

I need a reward system. Donuts? No, not donuts. I think if I exercise every day during the week, maybe I'll reward myself with a book sometime during the weekend. That sounds like a good idea. There is a neat little used bookstore near my work. I could (and do) spend hours there.

Now, when do I get to start this new reward system? I really want a book this weekend. I've been too busy to read lately and now I'm jonesin' for a book. I'll have to make up for my missed exercise this week though. Will that count? I'll have to think about this.

Motivational quote for the day: Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and get to work. -H. L. Hunt

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Birthday Of Monkey

The birthday of Petit Singe is Saturday. He'll be turning the big six. We're having a party for him. (What can I say? He's our only monkey. Besides, we have one every year.)

Yeah, I know it's only September. I know it's too soon to carve pumpkins. I know it's a bit early, but, what the hell? Why not?

Petit Singe originally wanted a Batman party. Okay. Fine. I took him to Party City for some plates and cups and some other little things. He was so excited. Until we passed the Army stuff. Then it was put-everything-away-Batman-load-up-on-camouflage. Fine. Whatever. I like green, and I think we have some green plastic table covers anyway.

Not so fast.

On the way to the counter, we passed, you guessed it...Halloween decorations. Next thing I know, he's putting back all the plates and cups and filling the basket with...


(Yes, just what my energetic little monkey needs. Not to mention all the other little energetic monkeys that will be coming. *Sigh* )

Petit Singe wants a Haunted House. Gimme a break. I hung some 1980's Halloween decorations that my Mom had. They're pretty scary...pretty scary that my Mom still has them. She never gets rid of anything, but that's another story.

Wish me luck in preparing a monster cake. Here's to hoping you can tell what it is when it's done.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend. 4:30 pm today starts the weekend for me. See you next week.

**In case anyone wants to wish me a happy anniversary, feel free to do so. Tomorrow is eleven years with Owen.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

88 Days To Go

I'll give a quick update about my lovely (read: dreaded, no-good, worthless, hard, time consuming) 100 days of exercise.

Okay, it's not really that bad. I've been trying to get some kind of activity in every day. Whether it's walking or doing a workout video or playing frisbee with Petit Singe. Like, I said, I've been trying. I have exercised more days than not. And I can tell you that's a lot more than I used to do!

Last weekend, I bought a DVD by The Biggest Loser trainer Jillian. It's called 30 Day Shred. I'm not sure what it is supposed to shred, but I think it shredded my legs. They turned to jelly. I'm hoping to go for a walk tonight if my muscles hold out.

As for pounds lost, I don't know. My scale is not very reliable. I doubt there's been a change in the numbers. Who knows? I'm eating slightly better, although I indulged this past weekend and I plan to do it again this coming weekend. I suppose I should stop that...? Well, after next weekend, I'll get right back on track. Uh-huh.

My biggest problem with exercise is not having time. I know I'm supposed to make time, but it doesn't come easily. Owen works a lot. I can't take Monkey on a long walk, I'd only end up carrying him. These are just excuses aren't they? I thought so too. I have more where they came from.

I've found another hindrance as well. All the shows are coming back. Maybe I'll use them as my reward for working out. Yeah. Let's see how that goes.

Well, here's to another week of trying.

Quote for today: Never eat more than you can lift. -Miss Piggy

Monday, September 22, 2008

Love Is In The Air

I fell in love this weekend.

Owen and I went out with my brothers Friday night. My oldest brother, we'll call him Carlos, had his girlfriend in town from New York. This would be our first time meeting her. When Owen and I went to New York in June, we weren't able to connect with her.

Carlos is four years older than me. When I was starting high school, he was moving off to college. When I was starting college, he was shipping off to Germany. He hasn't lived back in my hometown since I was 14. That's half my life. Although we're close, I don't know him as well as I once did.

Anyway, over the years I've met quite a few of his girlfriends. There are a couple who stand out in my mind when I think back.

When Carlos was stationed in Savannah, he was dating a girl named Nicole. She was a really nice girl. Cute accent. Very pretty. She was also very high maintenance. It is funny in so many ways. If you knew Carlos, or anyone else in my family, you'd see how ridiculous this was. As for Nicole, she decided after dating him for a long time that she wasn't content to wait for him while he went to Iraq for a year. That was her decision, and it was right for her. And Carlos.

The next woman who stands out is Melissa. They met in New York City. He brought her back here to meet all of us. She, too, was very nice. She was mature, nice, ambitious, also very attractive. When we met her (at my Dad's bar) she was all dressed up (with nowhere to go). (This bar is not fancy. The beer is cheap, the food is good, and they play old and new country music mixed with a little rock for the younger generation that's finally coming in. The regulars know everyone and have since we 'were this tall'. (Picture hand out, below waist level.) Bottom line is that this is the furthest thing you could possibly find from a New York club.)

Forward to this past Friday. We were finally to meet Carlos' latest love. Her name is A. Based on the previous girls I've met, I thought I knew what to expect. I let my prior experiences color the girl before I ever met her. Shame on me.

Carlos and A were at the bar before Owen and I. We walked in and they greeted us. Let me tell you, like the others, she's very beautiful. Long brown hair and blue eyes. She's funny and seems to mesh well with Carlos and our family. I was struck with how at ease she felt among all us strangers. Her dancing feet were put to the test by my stepbrother. He has Down's Syndrome, and she never once turned him down to dance or sit with. He fell in love that night too.

Oh, and the moment I fell in love? For me, it wasn't the above wonderful qualities. It happened when I looked down and saw she was wearing All Stars. I want her to be my new (and first) sister-in-law.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with dressing up. Nothing wrong with taking care of, and caring what you look like. It's more a question of how well they fit in with our family and friends.
**Another Disclaimer
I am neither high maintenance, nor a slob. (I probably would be high maintenance, but I don't have time...)
**Third Disclaimer
I really did like all the other girls. I like everybody.
**P. S. (AKA Disclaimer #4)
I got my pig roast. Frankly, I ate like a, well, like a pig. Not Good, GCI. Not Good.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Prickle Free

Wellllll, guess what.

We finally got our well fixed. They came out Wednesday. 'Bout damn time! It was sure taking its toll on my being able to shave my legs as often as I'd like. Owen had class that night and told me to run the water in the bath to clear the sediment and dirt from the pipe before using anything. Then he called me and told me not to use the hot water because the dirty water would fill up the tank. Okay, whatever. No problem.

Needless to say, as long as I was running the tub (and it was a long time), the water was never clear enough for me. I ran it a little longer, watched a movie and fell asleep on the couch.

When Owen got home from school, he looked around and looked at me and didn't say a word.

Ya know what? Zip it. You told me not to use the hot water. Petit singe didn't get a bath, I didn't do the dishes, and the laundry was piled up the same as when he left. He took a shower (with hot water), did the dishes (with hot water), and started a load of laundry. (LOL)

Hmm, I wonder how to keep him doing that? Surely I can't break the well pump every day and I can't just take a nap every night when he's gone. I'll have to think on this some more. There must be a way for him to do his share of stuff. I guess I could just ask him...

On a side note, we haven't gotten the bill for the pump yet. I'm not too excited about it. I tell ya, this owning a house thing is for the birds. Way overrated.

And on another side note, guess who's going to a pig roast on Sunday... That's right! Me. Well, and Owen, and monkey. I have to bring a dish to share, any suggestions?

Have a good weekend.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

No Missed Calls...

Found out that my two brothers, my stepbrother, and my Dad all went to a Tigers game last week and no one thought to call me. Hmm...

Monday, September 15, 2008

Classical Or Wicked?

I just can't figure him out! In one sense Owen is pretty traditional, on the other hand, sometimes he's outrageous. In this situation, does being traditional translate to being a stick in the mud? And I'm not that daring either, but I am open to some things that Owen is not.

Now, I don't want to change him. I love him just the way he is. He's a good guy, a great father, a wonderful husband. I think he's sexy as hell. The changes I'm suggesting are superficial. It wouldn't fundamentally change who he is. But any suggestions I make are met with heavy disapproval.

I suggested a nipple piercing.
Owen: No way! Someone at work would rip it out when they give me a titty twister!
Me: Well, maybe you and your coworkers should GROW UP!

I suggested shaving or waxing down there.
Owen: (Whining) What if I cut myself? I don't wanna be all itchy, either.
Me: *Sigh* It will be okay. And I deal with it just fine.
(On a side note, I did convince him to trim it, but there's still a lot of hair.) (And he does complain that its still itchy anyway.)

I suggested he get another tattoo or finish coloring in the one he has.
Owen: I don't need a tattoo, and this one looks fine with no color.
Me: Okay, don't get another tattoo, get your nipple pierced. (And then we're back to square one.)

Again, I know its his body. I'm not giving him an ultimatum or anything. I just think these ideas could be pleasurable for us (read: me). There's no way I could even suggest a piercing I saw on a certain sexy lady's knight. Ah well, I guess I'll have to keep that thought for myself.

Then, on the other hand, Owen is outrageous, like I stated above. He does want to see me with another guy. We were at a friend's house Saturday night, and I'm blushing even now to remember the words flying back and forth.

He wants me to go bra-less out in public. Fine. It happens occasionally, because he likes it. And I don't mind either. But we both know that it is mainly for him.

We'll be having sex at night and he comes out with, "Who's fuckin' you? Who are you thinking about?" Well, gee, I was thinking about you, Owen, but instead, why don't you tell me who's fucking me?

Well, I guess that's just Owen. And I'm only complaining a little. I just wish he'd be a little more adventurous, as he would like me to be. At the rate we're going, he'll get his way, but I'll still be the one nagging him about his hairy balls.

Am I always gonna be the one giving in?

I love Owen.
I'm very happy with him.
He doesn't get angry at me, he just tells me no.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

100 Days

While browsing some other blogs, I came across the idea of 100 Days Of Exercise. I think I may give it a try. I'll keep track here, if anyone is curious. I'm not gonna post my actual weight (there is, after all, a reason for this 100 day fitness kick), but I'll update pounds lost, if there are any. The key, as I understand it, is activity for 30 minutes.

I think this will be hard for me. I'm already very busy with life. I love to cook and I love to eat. Let me clarify, I love to cook when I have the time, and I love to eat, everything. Another hurdle is living in the boonies. There are no parks close, no sidewalks, no street lights. However, it's easy for me to walk 'a country mile'.

On the plus side, I don't watch much television in the evenings. I'm not on the computer all night long. Guess we'll see. I'm not a very motivated person, but this may be exciting, if I can stick to it. I'm kinda lazy too. (Some people have bumper stickers that say 'I'd rather be fishing.' Well, I'd rather be reading, or sleeping.)

I have a lot of exercise videos, that I don't watch. I have a gym membership, that I don't use. I have a punching bag, that is not hung. I do have a frisbee. I do have an energetic first grader. I do have a jump rope. I do have two feet. I have the burning want. Do I have the willpower? What if I quit? If I make it to 100 days, will I be able to keep it going? If I skip a day, will I get discouraged? *Sigh*

Here's my motivational quote for today: One small step at a time.

And in case anyone is wondering, I'm starting tomorrow. I'm real busy today:)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

To Your Health

This morning on the way to work, I was listening to 89X. That, in itself, is not unusual. I listen every day and try to catch the news if I'm early enough. They talk about all kinds of stuff. Very funny show, and often very informative.

As I was saying, this morning I was tuned in while Dave, Chuck and Lisa were discussing women who believe their partner is cheating on them when they masturbate.


Am I one of the women who believe masturbation is cheating? No way!

But as they were discussing it further, other scenarios came out. It's not just sitting at home, watching a porno and whacking off. They debated about cyber sex and paying for porn, which, I agree is different from 'regular' masturbation. In fact, I would be a bit upset about that myself. (You can find tons of free porn online, why pay?)

Now, I'm no stranger to self-pleasure. My husband is no stranger to self-pleasure either. There are probably about four days per month that we do not have sex or masturbate. Mutual masturbation? Even better.

There's no problem if Owen pops a porno in the player. Come on, that's what they're there for. And he's got plenty to choose from. Go do your thing, dude.

I suppose there are just some things that are off limits in a relationship. I don't think masturbation should be one of them. Nor do I know anyone who thinks it should. Masturbation is not evil. It's not shameful. It's normal. It's healthy. It's a stress reliever. And best of all . . . it feels good.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Ready For The Weekend

I'm tired today. It's been a long (four day) week. I'm ready for the weekend to officially begin. I was browsing through some other blogs and came across this meme. I've seen it before, but never answered the questions. I thought there were some rules posted when I saw it before, but from where I stole this, there were none. Here goes...

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

Ten years ago, I was enjoying my freedom after having graduated from high school in June. I was under the impression that I would take one year off school before attending college. The year was supposed to be a time to relax, but mostly to save up money for school. What a crock! One year turned into seven years, and I'm still not quite there yet. I was already dating my now husband and basically just doing a whole lotta nothin'. I was working though, but not saving money.

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list for today?

-Stay awake through work. This is most important.

-A friend of ours has been storing his snowmobile in our garage, and tonight (finally), he is ready to get it. Owen and I need to load it up into a trailer and deliver it to his house.

-Laundry. Of course. Always laundry. My mother-in-law is coming to pick up petit singe tomorrow to take him to the lake, and I don't want her to have to leap over piles of laundry in the mudroom.

-Call Eldest Brother and find out what time he'll be in town tomorrow, and what time we'll get together at my Dad's bar to catch up and drink beer.

-Lastly, I need to get some freakin' sleep tonight. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day.

3. Snacks I enjoy:

I like chips and yogurt. (Not together.) I like nachos and bananas. (Not together.) I like candy and apples. (Together and not together.)

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Travel. Have more kids. Build my dream house. (Nothing too extravagant. Wait, it probably would be. I forgot, I'm a billionaire.) I would help my entire family. I'd give money to my friends. Donate to charity. Yeah, can't forget the hot personal trainer I would have, either.

5. Places I have lived:

Well, I lived at home with my Mom and Dad. Then I lived with just my Mom after their divorce. I lived with my Dad and stepmom after my Mom caught me having sex and kicked me out. I lived again with my Mom after that. After high school, I stayed at Owen's house with his family. Then we went back to my Mom's. She kicked me out again after finding something she didn't like. (Sheesh, it was just a bowl.) Owen and I moved into a tiny one bedroom apartment. Then we rented a house. I became enceinte and we moved back in with my Mom. Just after I had the baby, we moved into another apartment, two bedroom, this time. We stayed there almost five years and finally last year we bought a house and moved to the country! That's a lot of moving around in a short time. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

6. Jobs I have had:

I worked at a fast food joint. I worked at a video store. I worked as a package handler. I worked at a home improvement warehouse. I worked some construction jobs. Most of those were part time gigs. The job I have now, at the end of the month, I will have been here ten years. It's in an office ;)

That's it. I hope you all (when I say that, I really mean 'You three who read this...') have a nice weekend!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Pig Roast That Was(n't)

For three weeks, my husband and I have been looking forward to a pig roast that was to happen this last weekend. Saturday, we had a wedding to attend. Attending the wedding meant missing two pig roasts that we were invited to on the same day.

That's okay. Bring on the pig scheduled for Sunday!

My friend Kim has a grandson who'll turn three in a couple days. Mon petit singe and the birthday boy are friends. Kim planned to have a party for her grandson earlier in the day and a pig roast later. Perfect. The fact that she was having a pig on Sunday was the only thing that kept me from going to the wedding solo.

Imagine our surprise when we arrived to hot dogs and hamburgers. Now, I love food. All kinds of food. (That may be a small problem for me...) So, of course, I like hamburgers and hot dogs. Who doesn't? They're great birthday party food. But I was really, really looking forward to something else. Oh well, the food was good anyway. The beer and spirits flowed freely. The music was lively. The guests were very entertaining. (What would you expect with all the alcohol?) Overall, we had a wonderful time.

The best part? Personally, my favorite part is always when we get home after a night of socializing and drinking (wink, wink). Aside from that, it's fun to reminisce about a pig roast over six years ago, in the backyard of another bride's father, under starry skies, where a boy and girl declared their love in front of family and friends who toasted to their continued health and fertility.

(Okay, okay, the boy and girl were married at the courthouse several months before the informal reception; the bride was pregnant, big as a house, that night; the groom was shit-faced, wasted keeping up with his new father-in-law and brothers-in-law; but, oh, the food was wonderful.)

And I wouldn't change a thing about that magical, albeit redneck, night.

Yee-Haw, baby!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Take Five Minutes Next Time

I've known for two weeks that my Mom is engaged. My middle brother (two years older) has also known for two weeks. However, my eldest brother (four years older) just found out last night.

I don't know why my Mom couldn't find the time to call him. Just a five minute phone call. Use your cell and don't pay long-distance. Sheesh.

Did she think he would not approve?
Come on. She'll be sixty in October, she doesn't need her son's permission.

Did she think he would say it was too soon?
Well, to be honest, when he called me late last night after talking to her, he did express concern about the length of time they've been together (not long).

Did she think he would laugh?
Again, to be honest, we did laugh. I laughed about it with my other brother, as well. I'm sure when my brothers talk, probably today, they'll laugh about it. Then next weekend when eldest is home from NYC, we'll laugh about it yet again.

The things he was upset about: Why was he the last to know? Why did she wait so long to tell him? Why didn't my brother or I let him in on the big secret? Geez, she even told my Dad (they've been divorced since 1985) before she told eldest.

Eh, who really knows what goes on inside any woman's mind? Certainly not me, and I am a woman.

Anyway, we are all happy for her. The guy seems very nice and treats her well. And no matter what our particular feelings on the subject, we will support her as we've always done.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


I need some thoughts and/or opinions on a subject that's come up between my husband (henceforth known as Owen) and I frequently.

Some of our fantasies involve other people. So far, they are just that - fantasies. More and more, Owen brings up the subject of seeing me with another man. Now, the idea itself is pleasing to me to think about. But, do I really want it to happen? It's okay when we talk about it in bed or even over dinner, but, really, is it something I could do?

When I think about Owen being with another woman, I feel physically sick. Like a pit in my stomach that makes me weak. (Maybe it does make me weak, who knows?) Granted, most of our pillow talk does not involve other women, but often they find their way into our bed.

On a different matter, we've tossed the idea of swinging around. I already know that it will not happen if I don't feel comfortable, if both of us don't feel at ease, with it. As of now, it's not happening. Like I mentioned above, I don't know if I can handle him being with someone else. But, again, it's something we've talked about, albeit not seriously yet. I have healthy self esteem, but I know there are some things about myself that could use some polishing. Sexually, I'm pretty much game for anything, involving Owen and myself only. (That's not to say everything we try I will like.)

A couple questions on the subject of me with another man...
Why does he want to share me? Why doesn't he want me all to himself? Will it change how he feels? Will he be angry with the reality?

A couple questions of the subject of swinging...
If Owen and the other woman do things together that I don't do with Owen, will he still want the things I do perform? What if I'm not as pretty or skinny or flexible as the other woman? What if we try it, and I can't get over it (him and her)? What if, after all the conversations about it, it doesn't come to fruition and he's disappointed? Does he just want to fuck someone besides me?

I've talked to him a little about my questions and he assures me that he loves me and nothing would change that. I don't know if I want to take that risk.

Obviously, there are things we need to sort through before ever doing either of these things. Though swinging and MMF and me with a guy are some of our fantasies, I'm fine with it ever only being that - a fantasy.

**Owen is not putting any pressure on me either way. I'm doing that all on my own. But I do know he would like to see fantasy become reality.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Her Anniversary

I wasn't sure what to write about today, but when I looked at the calendar this morning, the date struck me.

Back in grade school, I was best friends with a girl named Heather. Every weekend in the summer I was at her house from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening, and occasionally during the week too. We went roller skating every Friday night, and were dropped off at the mall so she could spend her money (I never had any). Her parents cussed and laughed and poked fun at things. I loved being there. They had a swimming pool and dogs and she had sisters. All the things I didn't have. Maybe that was part of the attraction...

As we entered high school, she went to the public school while I was sent to a private school. We talked on the phone for hours, really about nothing at all. As teenagers do, we had tiffs every now and then. But never enough to not speak or not be friends. We had totally different friends, but the other was always included. Mostly everyone got along well.

Things changed when she started dating the man who is now her husband. He was a few years older than us. In my mind, we were kids (only twenty years old or so), while he was very adult-like. He thought a lot of the things we did were immature. (Uh, yeah, we were immature.) Still, Heather was my best friend, we had been through a lot together. And whatever problems her boyfriend had with me, we were still friendly. (Though I didn't think he was good enough for her.)

Soon, they were engaged and had picked a date. I was asked to be in the wedding, and of course, accepted. I helped make favors and plan her bridal shower. I was so excited for her, and for me too. A few weeks before the wedding, Heather called to talk. Nothing unusual in that, but the words that came out of her mouth shocked me. She confessed that she had lied to me a couple days earlier about an injury she received on her leg. She told me she tripped walking up some steps outside her house. In reality, her fiance had shoved her up the brick steps steps and she fell. She was having second thoughts about marrying him. I was outraged! What right did he have to do anything like that? She also 'fessed up that it was not the first time that he'd gotten physically abusive with her. She wanted me to talk her into keeping the wedding date and marrying him. I could do nothing of the sort.

I don't recall the entire conversation, but I thought maybe she should take some time to figure it out. I was no objective observer. She came to the conclusion that everything would go ahead as planned, it was an accident, she loved him, he loved her, she couldn't call the whole thing off two weeks before, etc. I tried to be supportive of her.

Her Big Day came and the wedding went off without a hitch. The reception was a blast and though I tried to steer clear of her husband, we were thrown together in wedding party duties. I spent a fair amount of the evening talking to my own family, and Heather's as well.

I don't really know what happened the next day or what was said between the newly married couple. Maybe she told him that I was aware of things that had gone on with them. All I know is that she called two days later on her honeymoon and accused me of messing around with her husband at the wedding.

What?!?!? First of all, she was my best friend. I would never do anything like that to her. Secondly, I didn't like the man at all. Thirdly, my own fiance and family were in attendance at the events. Lastly, it was just plain ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

That day was the last we ever spoke. I miss her. Still. Best friends, as close as (I thought) we were, are hard to come by. Perhaps, I should have tried to bridge the gap. My pride would not let me. I've thought even recently about contacting her, but I'm still mad. Though I had other friends and have made more since then, it's not the same. She was, and still is, the only one I could imagine dropping in at her house for coffee or just watching television with. Oh well, what's done is done.

So, Heather, Happy Seventh Wedding Anniversary. Hopefully, things have turned out the way you want them to.

Friday, August 15, 2008


Living in the country, while we love it, has some disadvantages. Sure, we've got the fresh country air, corn and beans for neighbors, a great school for our first grader, the Big Dipper every night in the summer, and fragrant sweet corn and other assorted green stuff out our back door, but little things crop up from time to time that have me wanting to curse.

I grew up in the city, lived there all my life. Granted it's not a huge city, nothing like NYC, or even Cleveland, but just about the right size for me. Rural living has been an adjustment. We've not lived here long, we bought our house last year, just in time for the lad to start kindergarten. I don't know the first thing about tractors and fertilizers and water softeners and mice.

Up until now, with rare exceptions, I've pretty much taken any obstacle in stride. Last night I was pissed.

We ran out of water. Or something. I don't know what happened. The water just stopped. Then came on. Then stopped. Then came on. I know we have a well. How it works, don't ask me. We haven't had any rain here in over two weeks, probably closer to three. Is the well empty? Do we need a new one? Some guys at work suggested it could be the pump, or the pressure switch. Um, okay. What does that mean?

After my wondrous discovery last evening, I went to where my husband was working on a deck with a friend. I told him about what happened, thinking, I don't know, maybe he'd fix it or something. He and his friend Matt, who had a few ideas (he's a native, after all), were too busy to do anything about it last night. (Remember, the water was coming back on after a few minutes; wasn't too high on the priority list, I suppose.) Well, I had a few choice words to say about the situation while we were talking it over later.

But first, I had something even more pressing and important on my mind: Would Matt be interested in...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

My Turn

I suppose it is now my turn to jump on the blog bandwagon. I'm actually pretty nervous. I know I'm not the greatest writer but I love to read. Maybe I'll inject a couple big words every now and then, just to keep it interesting. I've been reading other blogs on here for a while now. Many of the bloggers have a natural ability for story telling, and catching and keeping your interest. I guess we'll see what happens here.

I've mentioned before that I'm not too tech savvy but I'm trying. Most likely, I'll have plenty of questions for anyone reading. Not quite sure what the posts will be about, possibly everything. My mind jumps around quite a bit, and so does my writing. I've got a lot of things running through my noggin at any given time. Hopefully I'll have something stimulating to say every so often.

This will actually be a shared blog with my husband. I'm not sure how many entries he will post. Not many, I'm assuming. But, who knows? He may surprise me. For that matter, I don't know how often I'll post either. We're both very busy with work, school, and family commitments. This will be our way of working through things that we've been thinking about for a long time and possibly getting advice from those who've been there or have an opinion on the subject.

I've been thinking about this (blog) for a long time. I'll (try to) be honest here, I'm an open book. If anyone has any questions, I'd be delighted to answer. If anyone has advice on any number of the varying subjects you're sure to see, please let me know. That's it for now. Hope I didn't bore you too much.