Wednesday, October 29, 2008

HNT - Happy Halloween

Here is our second venture into HNT. Owen enjoyed playing photographer.

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!
Don't forget to check out the others at Osbasso's.

Have a safe Halloween!

I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Think I...

Ha. My last update on my 100 days was a few weeks ago. Aside from walking at the park a few times, three weeks ago is pretty close to the last I was habitually exercising. And that's up for debate.

So here I am, about to renew my vow for the tenth or so time, and I just am not sure what to promise.

I know if I don't continue, I will be very disappointed in myself. I know that I don't want to spend next summer in jeans, due to the fact that I don't like my legs. I know I want to be healthier for my family. I know I'm not going to change myself overnight. I know I need to set goals and stick with them.

It's just so hard. I don't want to sweat. I don't want to be sore. I just want to sit and read... maybe a diet book.

Now I've wasted all this time. Clocks change on Sunday, so it will be nice and dark by the time I get home. Not only dark, but cold and windy. Owen is working crazy hours. (Seriously, crazy hours.) I don't have time to drive to the gym and actually put to use the membership I've had since 2003.

Reading this again, I see I'm still good on the excuses. Sure, it's not going to be convenient, but I still need to get some things done. 100 days of straight exercise may have been a bit too ambitious for my lazy ass. Should have started slow.

Here is my new vow... ... ... ... ... Hmm, let me think about this... ... ... ... I thought it would just come to me. Shoot. Okay, nothing specific, I'm just going to try harder.

With that, I'll leave a nice motivational quote: The footprint of the owner is the best manure.
Yeah, ya got me. I don't know what that means, but it's an English proverb and was listed under effort quotes.

Ah! Here's one I can relate to: Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer. -Author Unknown
(Hmm, actually I can't relate. I always give up when things get difficult.)

Anyway. Have a nice day!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Lost And Not Yet Found

We went to a Detroit Lions game today. It was my first professional football game. (We lost.) A friend of mine drove up to our house and we rode together further north to my brother's place. It was chilly and windy while we were tailgating. The guys were playing some bean bag game and wanted me to take a turn. I didn't. Again, it was something I had never done before. I suppose I didn't want to look stupid, or whatever. I don't know. I should have taken my turn. Why didn't I?

Moving on...

It's a good thing we tailgated (Beers and brats!), because in the stadium, beers were $8.50 for a (small) plastic cup. Outrageous! I mean, of course Owen and I both had one, and I had to get some popcorn, but what the heck... Our charge for the two beers and popcorn was $22.50. ~sigh~

Like I mentioned, the game was a bust. The Redskins kicked our asses, like we knew they would. But I was glad for the opportunity to catch up with our friend Jim and to meet my brother's new girlfriend. (Although, after the beers we had and the bullshit stories we were all telling her, I hope she still sticks around.) It's far too infrequently that we're all able to get together and reminisce. (I lost my first tooth at Jim's house. We go waaaay back.)

I forgot about the point of this post. Here it is...

While Owen and I have talked about some things that may or may not happen in the future, I've realized that I'm missing something. Sure, we get along great and have awesome sex. If you've been reading this blog, you would surely know that. While I am definitely looking forward to the next phase in our lives, I still scratch that. I still need romance.. Holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes (okay, probably not that, that's too corny even for me), but you get the idea.

Anyway, when the game was over, we sat and watched the crowd filing out. Finally, almost all the people were gone, but there was another couple walking up the steps to leave that caught my eye. They stopped in the middle of the stairs and kissed. Not just a simple peck on the lips. He grabbed her and turned her around. He had his arm around her back and was leaning into her while she playfully tried to get away at first. Eventually, though, she gave in and was bent back over his arm while they clung together and kissed. It was sweet, and at the same time, almost erotic. I couldn't take my eyes off them.

That's what I want.

Once upon a time, I had it.

But it was lost somewhere along the way to happily ever after.

I'm still looking for it...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

HNT - With A Little Help From My Friends

I mentioned a couple days ago that I now have a camera phone. Still no internet at home, but, whatever. The pictures are from my phone, let me know what you think...

I sent this to Owen at work to give him an idea of what was waiting at home.

And this is what he got when he walked in the door. Tossed the camera, kept the mirror.

If you haven't already, don't forget to stop by Osbasso's to see what's goin' on!

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

More Random

See title.

1. My height is about 5'6". When I calculate my BMI, I say I'm 5'7". Makes me feel better.

2. I finally succeeded in my quest to get a Playboy for Owen. It was easier than I thought. And it was from Barnes & Noble. And, yes, there were people watching me.

3. Over the past few weeks, I have abundantly expanded my sexual knowledge, though it is still very limited.

4. I am starting to work on my New Year's resolutions. My goal is five. Five that I have some small chance of fulfilling. Said restriction rapidly cut down on the thirty or so things I would like to do.

5. My conversations with Owen have improved. It could be that I'm just more aware of trying to communicate and talk.

6. Due to some outside influences, my sex life has been greatly enriched. And it was never all that shabby. You do the math.

7. I have finally bitten the bullet. I am the proud new owner of a camera phone. Simple for you, complicated for me...

8. I've started my reward system for exercise. I'm cheating though. Rain or shine, exercise or no exercise, I'm at the bookstore. Only thing is, I can't make it past the Letters To Penthouse series.

9. Owen's friend on the fire department, who fixed our well, has finally sent a bill. The damage: $470.00 That's only for the part, he didn't charge for labor. Good deal. (Not really.) So, Owen, you just keep on being friendly with the guys at your station. In fact, why don't you bring a few home with you tonight...

10. This is Owen's last week of school. He has a final practical test on Saturday. However, it's the busy season at his work, so I will see him even less.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Some Number Under 100 Days To Go

Here's another update on my 100 days.

I promised myself that last night I was going to do Jillian's video. Nope. Didn't happen. Instead, my Mom called and wanted to go for a walk. Owen was at school and I was home with Monkey.

I gave her every excuse I could think of. It's going to get dark soon. Petit Singe won't walk that far. He has homework. He needs a bath. I'm tired. I don't feel like it. I just didn't want to argue with her or listen to her outrageous stories.

Finally I said fuck it. I was feeling kinda bitchy and if she wanted to give me shit, I was gonna give it right back. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her. (You may have noticed my bitchy post about Owen a couple days ago, which, incidentally, I feel bad about writing now...)

So, we started our walk. We passed the spot where I usually turn around. We're halfway down the street behind my house (my 'around the block' is roughly four miles), and Monkey's too tired to go on. Dammit! I knew it. This is the reason I walk alone. And guess who got a piggyback ride...for two freakin' miles...? Not me.

Needless to say, when I got home, I said fuck it again. No Jillian. I got my exercise in, plus carried an extra 45 pounds of wiggly monkey.


Now I have noticed that maybe (wishful thinking?) my shirts are a little looser. I'm eating slightly better. No donuts for me this week. (Not after I ate so many from the orchard over the weekend...)

And I don't know how many days are left out of my 100 days. I do know it hasn't worked exactly as I had planned.

I really need to stop with the damned excuses too. Even if they are true.

Okay, okay.

Motivational quote for the day: If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. -Jim Eason

Shoot, sorry, not that. How about this... The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. -Mark Twain

No? Okay. Last try. Living a healthy lifestyle will only deprive you of poor health, lethargy, and fat. -Jill Johnson

Works for me.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Yap Yap Yap

I'm looking for some good conversation starters. Nothing cheesy. Nothing vague.

I already know about his job. I already know about any children he has. I already know some of his fantasies. I know what he likes in a woman. I know whether he wears boxers or briefs. I know his family problems. I know his insecurities. I know his dreams.

Is that all I need to know? Is that all I get? Is that enough?

Why is it that when we go out to dinner, we have nothing to talk about? Absolutely nothing. We kind of stare at each other awkwardly. Inevitably, one of us will bring up Monkey, and that's where the conversation stays. It's awful.

If we're at a bar with friends or family, we hardly talk all night. Oh, we'll both be teasing and flirting and conversing, but not together.

On the nights Owen is home in time for dinner, the conversation is centered around Monkey and his day at school. We'll talk about our respective days at work. I'll complain about my Mom and he'll relate the phone call he had with his.

We don't discuss anything meaningful, really. We don't have much to say to each other. I'm not even really sure what we should be talking about. World affairs? Current events? Politics? Movies? What a laugh.

I can talk to someone for hours. The same with him. How could we simply run out of things to say? Is there nothing left to learn about him? Nothing he would like to know about me? Will it always be like this? We don't even fight. We have nothing to argue about.

We used to play volleyball every week. We used to play softball every Sunday.

Now...we do nothing. He watches TV. I read. He goes to school. I walk. He plays in the garage. I clean. He works late. I cook. Sure. I like to read. I like to walk. I like to cook. I like to, well, I don't like to clean. Whatever. That's not the point. I don't know what is the point.

I feel like I'm complaining. Perhaps. Mostly I just want to vent and see if there are any ideas to get us going again. Can anyone help?

(Just because I have good sex, doesn't make everything good.)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Email to Owen

(Sent Friday, October 3, 2008 3:31pm)

Hello Owen.

Normally I wouldn't be sending you an email, but, um, it's a long story...

You remember how I wore the red and pink see through bra and matching boy shorts this morning, don't you? Yes, yes, I thought you might. Then you also recall why I'm wearing the set and a skirt and the heels, right? Yes, for him.

You see, he's the reason I jumped you last night as soon as you walked in the door. He's the one who got me so crazy that I had to have you when you came in.

He's the reason it was so good...

So, today he gave me a couple instructions for the day, and now he wants me to tell you about it. Are you ready for this?

The first task, of course, was my clothing. It's been a long time since I wore anything sexy, even for you. He convinced me to wear this skirt (I don't know how) and this sexy bra and underwear. It feels good to feel sexy and know that possibly others think I am too.

So, when I got to work, we chatted for a bit and eventually he wanted me to go into the bathroom and play with myself for a few minutes. I felt a little silly, but I did it. And I liked it. He had me do that twice. When lunchtime rolled around, he sent me to the mall.

At his instruction, I took off my bra and underwear in the restroom and touched myself some more. Then I walked around the mall for a few minutes. I could feel myself getting wetter, even wetter than I was when I used my fingers and hands on myself...

I knew guys were looking at me. Try to imagine what they were thinking. What would you be thinking Owen? Would you see my hard nipples and want to flick your tongue over them? Would you try to sneak a peek while my legs were slightly spread, as I took a rest in the food area, where men in business suits mixed with men in jeans and casual shirts were eating lunch? Would you be wondering if that woman sitting by herself was waiting for someone, or possibly waiting for you? You could tell just by looking at her, she was dripping wet and you could almost taste her. Think she'd let you? I bet she wanted the group of guys sitting to her right to drag her out of the mall. She'd probably do anything you asked...anything.

Here's what I was really thinking...I was ready to have someone bend me over and pull on my long brown hair. I wanted someone to show me exactly how sexy they thought I was. I wanted another task...

Now here I am writing this email because he told me to. All I can say is that I hope you're ready for some more hard fuckin tonight.


My Friday

**I was going to send this in an email to someone and decided to just post it instead.**

Just a little bit about my Friday night...

After being on edge all day, following some dictates, I finally had relief. It went like this...

I picked up my son from school and, surprisingly, Owen came home shortly after. Just normal things going on - dinner, dishes, talking, me being horny. I told him a little about my day, my time at the mall, that he had an email waiting for him. So, since he was home and it was still light out, I decided to take a walk. When I came back, I told him I was going to Barnes & Noble and that I'd be back in a bit. He told me to grab him a Playboy.

I wandered around the store. There were a couple books I wanted to check on. But the aisle I kept coming back to had love and sexuality books. I thumbed through the Kama Sutra books and some other graphic novels and how-tos. I knew Owen probably wouldn't do half the stuff in any of the books, so I wandered aimlessly again.

I took a walk back to the magazines and found the Playboy he was looking for. The only problem was that it's so open of an area, it seemed like everyone was watching me. I grabbed him a Maxim magazine instead. Then, of course, I went back to my section of the day. Although my sex life is pretty good, I think it can be better. Plus, I wanted to look at all the pictures. At this point, I was beyond horny. After looking more, and deciding again that Owen wouldn't be interested in any of the books I looked at, from the bottom shelf I grabbed 'Letters to Penthouse'.

I got home and Monkey was already sleeping. I spent more time than I thought at the bookstore. Owen was a little disappointed that he only got a Maxim, but there were too many people. I could've walked into any Adult Bookstore and picked up a magazine, but not from Barnes & Noble. Sorry.

So I sat on the couch reading my new book while Owen was watching TV. He kept looking at me, so I asked him if he wanted to do it, but he just made a face. Yeah, I know. I was dying. Maybe I was too direct or too hot for him. Who cares? I knew that at the end of the night, if he didn't help me with my release, then I didn't need him anyway.

WARNING: Dirty words coming up.

I walked into the kitchen and filled a glass with water from the tap. I heard Owen follow me into the kitchen. I turned around and bumped into him, kind of brushed past him and opened the freezer to get some ice. As I was standing there getting ice, he came up behind me again. This time was slightly different.

I could feel the hardness of him pressed against my back. I set the glass down on the counter and leaned back into him. He put his arms around me, moved my hair, and started kissing my neck. I angled my head so he could get all my hot spots. I wasn't going to let this opportunity pass. He rarely kisses my neck or back, which I love. Usually we just have sex and that's it. Nothing romantic about it. At least it fills one need...

Back to the story. He continued kissing my neck and reached around and put his fingers down my pants. They found my slippery clit and started massaging. His other hand crept under my shirt and played with my hard nipple.

After a few minutes of me wiggling around and trying to keep quiet, he turned me around and kissed me on the lips. He reached behind him and closed the kitchen blinds. Again, he turned me around, this time facing the counter as he stood behind me. He pulled my pants and underwear down. He touched me to make sure I was good and wet. No problem there. He slid into me in one sure stroke.

I came almost immediately. I had been waiting for this all day. All day. A few minutes of this and I pushed him back, and out of me. I turned around and dropped to my knees. I sucked on his cock and cleaned off my juices. I kissed my way up his chest and finally let him taste me on my lips. Owen quickly spun me around and shoved himself back up inside me. He grabbed my hips and plowed hard into me until we both came.

That's what I was waiting for all day...

Next time, maybe he'll pull my hair.

In case anyone's curious, I'm reading this again before I publish it, and I'm blushing because I wrote 'cock.'

Friday, October 3, 2008


Just a couple random thoughts and facts to share today.

1. Today is my former best friend's birthday. I posted about Heather back in August on her anniversary. Happy Birthday Heather.

2. I understood that it was only a matter of time, but I was still unprepared for my Mom's venomous accusations yesterday. Seems I'm having an affair with her erstwhile fiance. (Among others.)

3. I'm varying from the previously coordinated wardrobe today. It's a red and pink bra with matching boy shorts.

4. The teacher of Petit Singe believes he has ADHD. I spoke with her at length yesterday when I went to pick up Monkey. *Sigh*

5. I had awesome sex last night. Owen would like to extend a thank you to the warmer-upper...

6. I've been neglecting my work most of the week, now I need to get a bunch of stuff done, like now.

7. I'm hoping to take Monkey to the park tomorrow, while the temperature is above freezing.

8. I had to turn my damned furnace on two nights ago, the same day I was talking smack at work to all those who already turned theirs on.

9. I did not do Jillian's workout video last night, but I did get some exercise in. ;)

10. The U.P.S. guy who delivers to work is hot. Older. Hot.

Have a good weekend!

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Well, as much as I was hoping, no, praying this would not happen, it did. It's not much of a surprise though. Feels disloyal to say that, but I'm only being honest here.

My Mom is not engaged anymore. Really, it was almost inevitable. She's unbalanced, but watch out if you try to suggest that to her. No one wants to be called crazy, or have it implied there may be a chemical imbalance in their brain. She'd give you her last dollar. She loves her kids and grandson without question. She's giving. And loving (as much as she can be).

You just have to walk on eggshells around her. All the time. You never know how an innocent comment is going to strike her. You never know when she'll turn on you for some imagined reason. Seriously, an imagined reason. Yeah. Fun.

I'm not the favored child of either of my parents. That doesn't bother me. I've lived with it for almost 29 years. I'm used to it by now. That being said, I'm a little more free expressing my opinion about her actions. (No need to worry about falling out of favor, is there? Not when you were never in favor.) She exaggerates. She gets something in her head and believes it. She doesn't trust anyone. She thinks everyone is a liar. She thinks everyone is a thief. She thinks everyone is a cheat. I'm not exempt from her accusations. I've been charged with all, several times, in fact.

Despite her faults, I want her to be happy. She seemed happy with this guy. She was happy with this guy. God, these past couple weeks she was so pleasant to be around. I wanted that to last. But it was only a matter of time until the accusations were flung. Honestly, she needs medication. But she doesn't think so. All the accusations are true in her mind. No matter what proof you offer to the contrary. What she says is fact.

That's why I'm not surprised its ended. All she needed to do was show the other side of herself. She just opened up her mouth and spewed filth. And that's all he needed to see.

I feel guilt from both ways. Disloyalty to my Mom for even writing this stuff, and I feel bad about her fiance because I knew. I knew.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Donut or Doughnut?

I'm gonna eat a donut.

One of our suppliers dropped some materials off this morning, along with a box of donuts. I went and peeked at them when I got a cup of coffee. Now, I'm just trying to figure out which one I'm going to devour. I like them all.

I just have to tell myself, "Self, it's not like you've never had one or don't know what they taste like. It's not like you will never have another donut."

Usually this works to keep me from eating any, but I missed breakfast and I'm feeling weak-willed this morning. I'll just use that old standby to keep me eating only one.

So, 80 days left, or something like that. I need to step it up. I've missed too many days to be happy with myself. Though Owen helped me get through more of Jillian's workout than I had previously gotten, I still feel like a failure. It's only 100 days. Why can't I just do it?

I need a reward system. Donuts? No, not donuts. I think if I exercise every day during the week, maybe I'll reward myself with a book sometime during the weekend. That sounds like a good idea. There is a neat little used bookstore near my work. I could (and do) spend hours there.

Now, when do I get to start this new reward system? I really want a book this weekend. I've been too busy to read lately and now I'm jonesin' for a book. I'll have to make up for my missed exercise this week though. Will that count? I'll have to think about this.

Motivational quote for the day: Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and get to work. -H. L. Hunt