Thursday, October 2, 2008


Well, as much as I was hoping, no, praying this would not happen, it did. It's not much of a surprise though. Feels disloyal to say that, but I'm only being honest here.

My Mom is not engaged anymore. Really, it was almost inevitable. She's unbalanced, but watch out if you try to suggest that to her. No one wants to be called crazy, or have it implied there may be a chemical imbalance in their brain. She'd give you her last dollar. She loves her kids and grandson without question. She's giving. And loving (as much as she can be).

You just have to walk on eggshells around her. All the time. You never know how an innocent comment is going to strike her. You never know when she'll turn on you for some imagined reason. Seriously, an imagined reason. Yeah. Fun.

I'm not the favored child of either of my parents. That doesn't bother me. I've lived with it for almost 29 years. I'm used to it by now. That being said, I'm a little more free expressing my opinion about her actions. (No need to worry about falling out of favor, is there? Not when you were never in favor.) She exaggerates. She gets something in her head and believes it. She doesn't trust anyone. She thinks everyone is a liar. She thinks everyone is a thief. She thinks everyone is a cheat. I'm not exempt from her accusations. I've been charged with all, several times, in fact.

Despite her faults, I want her to be happy. She seemed happy with this guy. She was happy with this guy. God, these past couple weeks she was so pleasant to be around. I wanted that to last. But it was only a matter of time until the accusations were flung. Honestly, she needs medication. But she doesn't think so. All the accusations are true in her mind. No matter what proof you offer to the contrary. What she says is fact.

That's why I'm not surprised its ended. All she needed to do was show the other side of herself. She just opened up her mouth and spewed filth. And that's all he needed to see.

I feel guilt from both ways. Disloyalty to my Mom for even writing this stuff, and I feel bad about her fiance because I knew. I knew.


Stacie said...

wow, she sounds like my hubby!

Nolens Volens said...

Why feel guilty for something that an adult finally figured out on her own? Thanks for following my blog. :)

Hosea said...

She sounds like my late mother-in-law. And I promise you that Wife's relatinship with her mother was indescribably complex: love, hatred, shame, guilt, and a dozen other feelings all layered on each other in different combinations ....