Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Yap Yap Yap

I'm looking for some good conversation starters. Nothing cheesy. Nothing vague.

I already know about his job. I already know about any children he has. I already know some of his fantasies. I know what he likes in a woman. I know whether he wears boxers or briefs. I know his family problems. I know his insecurities. I know his dreams.

Is that all I need to know? Is that all I get? Is that enough?

Why is it that when we go out to dinner, we have nothing to talk about? Absolutely nothing. We kind of stare at each other awkwardly. Inevitably, one of us will bring up Monkey, and that's where the conversation stays. It's awful.

If we're at a bar with friends or family, we hardly talk all night. Oh, we'll both be teasing and flirting and conversing, but not together.

On the nights Owen is home in time for dinner, the conversation is centered around Monkey and his day at school. We'll talk about our respective days at work. I'll complain about my Mom and he'll relate the phone call he had with his.

We don't discuss anything meaningful, really. We don't have much to say to each other. I'm not even really sure what we should be talking about. World affairs? Current events? Politics? Movies? What a laugh.

I can talk to someone for hours. The same with him. How could we simply run out of things to say? Is there nothing left to learn about him? Nothing he would like to know about me? Will it always be like this? We don't even fight. We have nothing to argue about.

We used to play volleyball every week. We used to play softball every Sunday.

Now...we do nothing. He watches TV. I read. He goes to school. I walk. He plays in the garage. I clean. He works late. I cook. Sure. I like to read. I like to walk. I like to cook. I like to, well, I don't like to clean. Whatever. That's not the point. I don't know what is the point.

I feel like I'm complaining. Perhaps. Mostly I just want to vent and see if there are any ideas to get us going again. Can anyone help?

(Just because I have good sex, doesn't make everything good.)


Nolens Volens said...

My wife and I never have nothing to say. How? Just make an observation about something/someone , express your feelings, state your thoughts, bring up plans, and plan out fantasies.

I would comment on our waitress' ass to my wife or ask her who else she would like to play with or tell her that I'm feeling a bit antisocial. Open your mouth and remove all doubts. ;)

Hosea said...

Wife and I used to talk for hours every night before we had children. Then for a time the children (as infants) were so demanding (the way all infants are) that we never had the luxury of talking about anything else. Now that they are older (i.e., children) and a lot more self-sufficient, we have forgotten what else there is to talk about.

Wish I had answers for you, instead of just chiming in, "Yup, me too ...."

Stacie said...

it almost scares me...I have this same problem...and find the same problem with friends.

Am I just a mom? Is that all I have to talk about? Is my venting about my marriage the only relevant thing I have to bash?

Anyway. Sorry I am no help.